Tag Archives: Stay at home mom

“But there’s TWO of them.”…and other hilarity from my husband

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In order for me to be a stay at home mom, my husband, Rob, has to work a lot. It’s definitely a work in progress as far as nailing down the dynamics is concerned. Sometimes I freak out and tell him he’s not home enough and other times I’m anxious for him to leave…one less baby to take care of, but all in all I appreciate how hard he works and try to make the best out of the time we have together.
Because he is away from home so much there are little things he unfortunately misses out on…or I forget to fill him in on. As a result I have a few gems that have come out of his brain listed below. I guarantee this list can only grow…enjoy!

  • I know you sent me to the store to get two high chairs, but I have returned with a retro Radio Flyer tricycle and one table attaching child’s seat! Pretty cool, huh?
  • Awesome.

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    When I told this next one to my mom she laughed so hard she had to pull her car over.

    While having some me time I get a call from Rob asking when I will be coming home. I told him I was heading home and asked “Why, is everything ok?”. He then explained that the kids were fussy and hungry…”then feed them?!” was my obvious response as I’m slowly pushing two cumbersome boxes containing actual highchairs through the store. His response?

  • “But there’s two of them and…..”followed by some sort of inaudible whimper
  • I mean what do you say to that except to laugh, right?

    To be continued……

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    And the mother of the year award goes to…

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    Not yours truly.
    Today I just didn’t have the energy…for anything. I managed enough strength to change the twins, feed them and that’s about it. I’ve noticed that, every once in a while, a wave of exhaustion hits me and I need to “take a day off”. Although I still feel incredibly guilty about this, I feel it’s my body and my brain’s way of telling me “Okay, we’ve had enough. Here’s where we get off.” Today was quite a doozy though.
    I made a barricade out of carseats and boppy pillows in the living room and cozied up on the couch. The twins seemed fine with this. Well, except for Jackson who was suddenly limited in his travels. I never really got to take a nap or anything, the thought of the endless possibilities of things that could go wrong while I was snoozing squashed that idea. So I’m sitting there blankly staring off into space and I realize; “I’m one of those moms right now. The kids and the floor are covered in cheerios, the house is a mess, I’m still in my pajamas, there’s a soap opera on tv, and all I can think is “I wish someone would bring me a meatball sandwich and some freakin’ Bon-bons.”. Man, I feel like I’m coming clean right now. Anyway, when I was just starting to muster up some energy to not be in that spot, my husband walked in the door.
    Awesome.
    “I swear this is not what it’s like all the time when you’re not here!”. He gets it though, bless his little hard working heart. I suppose that was the little jump start I needed though, and managed to pull off a mildly productive rest of the day. “Success!” I was thinking at the end of the evening as I put the freshly cleaned babies to bed…but not so fast.
    As I begin to do some straightening up I notice a smell like a candle that has just been put out. I check the candles I had lit earlier in the evening and, sure enough, one that was almost gone was now gone and replaced by a small forest fire. Thankfully it was contained in a decorative bowl but, guess what I did next?! I poured water on it!!!!
    As flames are lightly licking my face I am just standing there stunned thinking one: “you idiot“, and two: “I sure hope those curtains aren’t going to catch on fire.”.
    They didn’t.
    Everything is fine but today I get a big fat F in motherhood.

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    The Aftermath

    Dear Inventors:

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    Pretty tired tonight. There are still a lot of bugs that need to be worked out as far as bedtime with Jackson is concerned. While I was yawning and rubbing his back I thought of a couple inventions I would like to see:

    1. Mommy Dummy – I suppose this one would be easy enough but perhaps too creepy. Seriously, just a dummy you can set up in your twins’ nursery so if they wake up at 3 am and look for you, there “you” will be and they can drift peacefully back to sleep.

    2. Automatic Back Rub – This simple device would work similar to a porch light. Whenever there’s enough movement in the crib or a loud enough cry, the Automatic Back Rub springs into action safely rubbing my child’s back until he falls back to sleep.

    These are the things that I think about as I’m sitting with my head pressed against the crib, arm falling asleep stuck between the bars, and perhaps a little drool slowly making it’s way down my exhausted face.
    G’night…for now.

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    “Stay-at-home Mom Actually Stays at Home”

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    Today I made an executive decision and the twins and I stayed in today. I know, I threw caution to the wind and didn’t even ask Georgia or Jackson how they felt about it. I have a feeling they really enjoyed it though.
    Lately I have kind of prided myself on the fact that we make sure to get out a lot, but mama needed a break dammit! It was like a beautiful dream. We woke up and cuddled in bed for a bit and then I thought I would attempt a routine. It was awesome. Seriously, from breakfast to playtime to nursing to nap…and then repeat. It was just what I needed to remind me that I am, in fact, a good mom.
    For all those busy stay at home moms out there; try staying at home for a day. I know it sounds crazy but it does wonders for you and your babies. They get to relax and be car-seat free for a day and you get to just soak up their precious little faces.
    Also, they don’t mind that you aren’t wearing make-up, smell a little,or that your hair looks like Don King’s.