Dude, Where’s My Wit

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For the last week or so I’ve been wracking my brain trying to think of fun and witty things to post here. Maybe I’ve been a little intimidated by Jerry’s amazing blog; Where Do Gaybies Come From, soon to be titled…..something else. We have boy/girl twins, stay at home parenting and awesomeness in common but Jerry has a little more experience under his belt (as his twins are a little older) and is quite an hilarious writer.

I’m not really getting down on myself here. I’ve learned that as twins get older you are rewarded for keeping them alive by having a little more free time so I’m sure it’s just a matter of time before I am back in the swing of things….mentally.

Which brings me to my latest observation.

Normally, I like to think of myself as a pretty humorous person but I think that, along with sleep and what used to be a plumper ass, I may have lost some wittiness since having children. I do things like:

  • Walk away from a conversation I just had with somebody, wondering what I just said, if it made sense and if I ended the conversation properly or just started walking away.
  • Forget the spelling of simple words like “their” or “tomorrow”.
  • Can’t tell a decent joke to save my life.
  • Forget whether or not I’ve said something and end up constantly repeating myself. “Oh, did I not say ‘thank you’ for the crackers? Thank you. Oh I did? Ummm, thanks.”
  • I have lost the ability to read directions and instructions completely, all the way through.
  • Can no longer interject with some hilarious little quip. I’m down to about 1 or 2 laugh out louders a month.
  • Stare blankly at my feet while I’m in bed trying to think of funny non-funny things that I do
  • Now that I’ve typed this all out, it appears as if you could either be reading a blog of a stay at home mom of twins or a career stoner.

    I’m ultimately not too worried, I’m sure something that resembles my brain might slowly start to return….maybe it will bring some of my ass back with it too. In the meantime I will make due with my one or two solid laughers a month….here’s to hoping they end up here!

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    2 responses »

    1. Hey, thanks for the link and the compliments. You are quite a hilarious blogger, too. And if it makes you feel better, when my kids were your kids’ age, I wasn’t capable of blogging at all, because of all the reasons you listed. (After a lifetime of being irritated by people who mixed up your and you’re, I actually caught myself making the same mistake because I’d rattled my brain from shaking all those formula bottles.)

      One other thing you get as your kids get older is perspective. That’s when all the witty observations will come rushing to you and you won’t feel like such a stoner – unless you are a stoner, of course.

    2. I totally gave up carrying a purse because I could never remember where I laid it down during my child rearing years. Who exactly had the time to know where the purse is when we’re so busy making sure we have not left the child, nor the child’s essential belongs behind on outings???

      I could always find the child’s missing homework, the lost shoe, the jacket, the favorite toy, but the purse was always a lost cause.( Luckily I never kept my keys in the purse or we would never have gone anywhere! And thankfully the Kid learned to watch where her mommy put the keys at a very young age!)

      Did you ever WONDER WHY I have that replica of my drivers license tattooed on my arm??? CHILD REARING, that’s right. The brain circuits get a little fried from the lack of sleep, running here and there etc. etc.And then just when you think your brain circuits are back to normal THEY START DATING!!! OY VEY!! But fear not My Dear,it’s all worth it!! AND EVENTUALLY those brain circuits repair themselves…now if I could just find my damn license I’d be outta here.

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