And the mother of the year award goes to…

Standard

Not yours truly.
Today I just didn’t have the energy…for anything. I managed enough strength to change the twins, feed them and that’s about it. I’ve noticed that, every once in a while, a wave of exhaustion hits me and I need to “take a day off”. Although I still feel incredibly guilty about this, I feel it’s my body and my brain’s way of telling me “Okay, we’ve had enough. Here’s where we get off.” Today was quite a doozy though.
I made a barricade out of carseats and boppy pillows in the living room and cozied up on the couch. The twins seemed fine with this. Well, except for Jackson who was suddenly limited in his travels. I never really got to take a nap or anything, the thought of the endless possibilities of things that could go wrong while I was snoozing squashed that idea. So I’m sitting there blankly staring off into space and I realize; “I’m one of those moms right now. The kids and the floor are covered in cheerios, the house is a mess, I’m still in my pajamas, there’s a soap opera on tv, and all I can think is “I wish someone would bring me a meatball sandwich and some freakin’ Bon-bons.”. Man, I feel like I’m coming clean right now. Anyway, when I was just starting to muster up some energy to not be in that spot, my husband walked in the door.
Awesome.
“I swear this is not what it’s like all the time when you’re not here!”. He gets it though, bless his little hard working heart. I suppose that was the little jump start I needed though, and managed to pull off a mildly productive rest of the day. “Success!” I was thinking at the end of the evening as I put the freshly cleaned babies to bed…but not so fast.
As I begin to do some straightening up I notice a smell like a candle that has just been put out. I check the candles I had lit earlier in the evening and, sure enough, one that was almost gone was now gone and replaced by a small forest fire. Thankfully it was contained in a decorative bowl but, guess what I did next?! I poured water on it!!!!
As flames are lightly licking my face I am just standing there stunned thinking one: “you idiot“, and two: “I sure hope those curtains aren’t going to catch on fire.”.
They didn’t.
Everything is fine but today I get a big fat F in motherhood.

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The Aftermath

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3 responses »

  1. Ha! I can’t tell you how much I relate to everything in this post. I even made Boppy barricades myself when my twins were younger to help keep them penned in. I felt so guilty every time I crashed on the couch and didn’t quite let myself fall asleep. All I can say is “It gets better”. The best advice I can give is to encourage them to be independent as they grow up, because the less they need you, the more you can relax. (It’s better for them, too, IMO.)

    Sounds to me like you’re doing great!

    • Thank you for the words of encouragement. Any kind words or advice are strongly…well, encouraged! Seriously though, it’s nice to hear from someone that’s a little further in the game than me. “It gets better.” is a mantra I shall repeat over and over, especially on days like yesterday.

  2. Pingback: Twins – Then and Now « Where Do Gaybies Come From?

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