Bath time 101


1. Occupy twins in a safe place. Swords and matches only if supervised.
2. Fill bathtub with a couple inches of warm water.
3. Try not to repeat “hot water burn baby” line from movie Rainman over and over in your head.
4. Check on babies. Remove unidentified stale floor-food from baby’s mouth.
5. Lay out two pairs of pajamas and two clean diapers in nursery.
6. Put two baby towels in bathroom near bathtub.
7. Announce “It’s bath time, yaaaaaaaaayyy….!!”. Flapping arms crazily is optional.
8. Get babies and one toy, and carry them both into the bathroom. Yes at the same time you hard-body, you.
9. Occupy least fussy baby with toy.
10. Undress second baby and place in tub keeping one arm around midsection at all times.
11. Look at first baby with toy and make googly faces.
12. Squirt baby shampoo on baby two’s head and lather all over head and body.
13. Make a bubble mohawk for baby two, yourself, baby one, and anybody else that wants one.
14. Take baby two out of tub and place on your already soaked lap.
15. Place towel on/around clean baby and set on floor.
16. Gently pry toy from baby one’s death-grip and give to clean baby.
17. Repeat steps 12 through 15 for baby one.
18. Scoop both babies up and carry into nursery for diapering and pajama-ing. Don’t slip Turbo, take your time!
19. Nuzzle clean babies. Take a big whiff, fresh baby smell is awesome.




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