So I’m pretty sure I had my first in a presumably long line of mommy meltdowns yesterday. I’m guessing it was pretty mild but that doesn’t mean that it wasn’t disturbing.
I was driving with the twins to a weekly family dinner(which I look so forward to)when I felt crying coming on. Okay so, I’m not a crier. I don’t cry at hallmark commercials, when my feelings are hurt, or old yeller…although I did shed a little tear when MIchael Jackson died. Anyway, I found the crying thing strange; the kids were sleeping in their carseats(not screaming)and nothing bad had happened earlier that day. So I start to analyze the situation. Why am I crying? Well, when you are already crying and then start thinking of more reasons for crying….it just makes more crying….which equals breakdown.
Part of me is almost proud that I have made it 8 1/2 months without having one of these, and the other half of me is doing damage control. The conclusion?
1. I am exhausted and need to commit to teaching Jackson to sleep through the night.
2. I need to not overwhelm myself with too many side projects.
3. I need to ask for help when, ultimately, I do end up overwhelming myself.
4. I get to remember that I have two beautiful babies. So when they’re grown up billionaires and I’m sitting in the mansion they bought for us and playing parcheesi with the president, it’ll all be worth it.
Who am I kidding?
I don’t even know how to play parcheesi.
1. Occupy twins in a safe place. Swords and matches only if supervised.
2. Fill bathtub with a couple inches of warm water.
3. Try not to repeat “hot water burn baby” line from movie Rainman over and over in your head.
4. Check on babies. Remove unidentified stale floor-food from baby’s mouth.
5. Lay out two pairs of pajamas and two clean diapers in nursery.
6. Put two baby towels in bathroom near bathtub.
7. Announce “It’s bath time, yaaaaaaaaayyy….!!”. Flapping arms crazily is optional.
8. Get babies and one toy, and carry them both into the bathroom. Yes at the same time you hard-body, you.
9. Occupy least fussy baby with toy.
10. Undress second baby and place in tub keeping one arm around midsection at all times.
11. Look at first baby with toy and make googly faces.
12. Squirt baby shampoo on baby two’s head and lather all over head and body.
13. Make a bubble mohawk for baby two, yourself, baby one, and anybody else that wants one.
14. Take baby two out of tub and place on your already soaked lap.
15. Place towel on/around clean baby and set on floor.
16. Gently pry toy from baby one’s death-grip and give to clean baby.
17. Repeat steps 12 through 15 for baby one.
18. Scoop both babies up and carry into nursery for diapering and pajama-ing. Don’t slip Turbo, take your time!
19. Nuzzle clean babies. Take a big whiff, fresh baby smell is awesome.
Tonight was our one year wedding anniversary and we called in the troupes to watch the twins so we could go out. I love that we have such a great group of friends (that are family to us) that not only adore the twins but tolerate Rob and I as well.
When we first discovered we were having twins I read, heard, and was advised that we would need a lot of help. Being the stubborn “I can do it all by myself” person that I am, I figured I wouldn’t really need the help. “Those people are weaklings” I thought to myself but soon realized there is some weight to that advice. I could not do this without the love and support of my family and friends. I quickly learned to swallow my pride and not only accept the help of those around me, but ask for it as well.
Tonight it took a team of four amazing people to watch Jackson and Georgia for six-and-a-half hours…and they did it with love. To all those friends and family of parents with twins out there; thank you, and keep up the good work. To Ellie, Emily, Jasmyn, and Chris; you enrich my children’s lives on a regular basis and we can’t thank you enough for being part of our “village”.
Rob’s sister brought over a relic from his childhood the other day; a ceramic Jesus wall hanging. He said it used to hang in his bedroom when he was a kid and thought it might be nice to put it in the twins’ nursery. “How sweet.” I thought, and found a nice little spot for it. Over the last couple of days I have had a chance to really examine it while I’ve been nursing, changing, or playing with the babies and something just seemed different about it. Then I realized what it is: Jesus is standing on a potato. How wonderful and unique is it that we have Jesus on a potato in the nursery! I know that Jesus loves me and now I know that he loves potatoes too. I swear that’s what it looks like, but you can judge for yourself.
We like to call Georgia “Angel Butt”. Not just because she looks like one but because she goes to sleep like one too. The difference between Jackson and Georgia’s nighttime ritual is night and day. Pun totally intended.
When bedtime rolls around(about 9:30pm)I will finish nursing them and then I can lay Georgia down, sometimes still awake, and she will put her thumb in her mouth, reach for her Teddy Cat, and go gently to sleep. Jackson is a whole other story. If I’m lucky, he will fall asleep breast feeding and I can then lay him geeeeeeeennnnnttttly down and he might stay asleep. Lately this has not been the case.
I start by putting him in the crib with his Teddy Bear kissing him and patting his back. Before I can leave the room he has already started wailing. I have done a lot of research regarding “cry-it-out” and, let’s say, “NOT cry-it-out” methods and I thought(against my mother’s constant advice) that the not crying it out method made more sense. I don’t anymore. I actually don’t know how I feel. I’ve been trying to let him cry it out. I’ll let him go for about ten minutes and then go in and comfort him without taking him out of the crib. I will do this about two or three times until he finally tires out/gives up and I am sitting there with my face pressed against the bars of the crib and my hand wedged between them rubbing his little exhausted back.
If you live in Anchorage and you see a lethargic mother of twins walking around with crib marks permanently indented into her face… be gentle, she hasn’t had much sleep.
Most of my posts will be done late at night after the twins have finally gone to sleep and I am in bed…just puttin’ that out there. I guess I’m saying this to forewarn anyone who might read this that some of my posts may come across as crazy, which I most likely am, but it’s only because I’m tired. Very tired.
Okay, so I am a 33 year old mother of 8 month old boy/girl twins named Jackson and Georgia…if you can’t figure out which one is the girl by the names…shame on you. I have no other children. God help me if I did. My husband, the twins, and I live in Anchorage, Alaska.
Okay. I’m nodding out.
Going to try to sleep before Jackson wakes up…
Wish me luck.